


The Withered Bouquet

by Melancholiccc, Slothiccc



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Everyone other than KuuBaki are mentioned, Flower Language, Heartbreak, KuroMahi, M/M, Mahiru is an implied jerk, Self-Harm, SlothCholy, Twoshot, Why can't these two just be happy?, subtle sakumahi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21879895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melancholiccc/pseuds/Melancholiccc, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slothiccc/pseuds/Slothiccc
Summary: "It took centuries for my heart to feel but it took only seconds for it to break..."A two-shot about a certain fox's one-sided love and the one who finds out too late.
Relationships: Kuro | Sleepy Ash & Tsubaki | Who is Coming, Kuro | Sleepy Ash/Shirota Mahiru, Kuro | Sleepy Ash/Tsubaki | Who is Coming, Shirota Mahiru/Watanuki Sakuya
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	1. A Flower's Pain

_He didn't know where he was headed, he just knew he had to get away. Far away from **them**. He was starting to run out of breath and the tears wouldn't stop falling but he couldn't care less. He just kept on running, ignoring all of the stares that he was getting, and didn't stop until he reached a dark alley where he immediately let out his broken sobs._

>>>

A few weeks have passed and the Eighth could still remember that awful feeling, the feeling of his heart shattering into millions of pieces the second he accidentally spotted them, kissing in broad daylight while he was on his way to the Alicein mansion after being invited by the Seventh to celebrate Christmas with him and the others, which he was generally happy about. He had tried his best to hold back the tears that built up, not wanting to let them fall in front of the butterfly, who had just smiled softly and wiped the tears away. Tsubaki also still remembered exactly what Lily had said as he embraced him when the tears had stopped.

_"You won't ever be alone again, little brother... You have us now and your subclasses as well. None of us will ever leave your side and regardless of what happened in the past, you're still family and we've all forgiven you... Don't you ever forget that, okay?"_

Oh, how he wished those words were true, specifically the last part. If he was really forgiven by a certain black cat and a simple-minded brunette, then why?

Why had they played such a cruel joke on him? Why did they wait for the one day he was leaving his apartment after such a long time? Why were they so close to it in the first place? Could that really have just been nothing but a coincidence or did they know about how he felt and decided to mess with him?

Despite the indirect humiliation that he had just gone through, Tsubaki ended up still going to the mansion after having gone back home to wash his face and cover up the redness under his eyes but he had such a hard time keeping the mask up when either the Eldest or his Eve started to talk to him with either their usual smile or bored and neutral facial expression. It hurt just to even be near them for longer than a second but he didn't want them to suspect something was wrong.

On the outside, he had his usual smile and joked around with the other siblings but on the inside, he was struggling not to break down into tears and right when he thought that things couldn't have possibly gotten worse, he was wrong.

The Sloth pair had ended up coming clean with the Servamps and other Eves and announced that they were going out and had been for a while in secret. Just like that, the Eighth made the sad realization that what he saw earlier that day was not a sick joke but reality.

Biting his lip so he wouldn't break down, he congratulated them before excusing himself and saying that he wasn't feeling well but not before subtly grabbing a lovely bouquet from the table, a present that he had planned to give to the Eldest after confessing his feelings but now knowing that Ash's heart belonged to another, he decided to spare himself the extra humiliation and heartbreak by taking it before the cat or anyone else noticed that it was even there.

That same exact bouquet was on the table in the fox's room, slowly withering away since it had been left untouched and didn't bother placing the flowers in a vase filled with water. He turns towards the bouquet slowly, a sad smile on his face.

_**"They look just as dead as me... Well, me and my heart... The same heart that wasn't able to feel for centuries but broke in less than a second..."**_

Tears slowly fall down his cheeks and he forces himself to look away from the flowers, clutching his chest tightly and covering his mouth with his other hand, muffling the sobs that threatened to escape .

_**"Deep down I knew... knew that Nii san wouldn't be mine but... why does it still hurt so much?"**_

After some time had passed, he no longer wanted to stay indoors. He wiped away his tears roughly before getting off his bed and heading out of his room. He was in no mood to fix up his appearance. He just wanted to get away from the deafening silence that filled the apartment. He slipped on his camellia robe and his wooden sandals and immediately walked out the front door, not bothering to close it. 

>>>

After what seems like hours, Tsubaki comes to a stop by a roadside, not realizing the rain soaking him from head to toe. However, what caught his eye was a single cyclamen, how _**fitting**_ , isn't it? Nonetheless, he bent over to pick the lonely flower, holding it gently between his nimble fingers. It looked sad, just like him. Two lonely flowers beneath this feeling of melancholy could only become closer, more understanding to one another, isn't that right? 

"How lonely you must be....That's funny, so am I. How about we walk together? I wonder if that would help ease the pain, even just a little bit." Tsubaki spoke lowly, voice drowned out by the heavy sound of rain pattering the ground. People might think he's insane for talking to flowers, but really, all he wanted was to be able to talk to someone. Unfortunately, that wish would never come true. 

"Oh well... what good would that do?" The lonely fox said aloud with a sad smile.

Tsubaki looks at the other side of the street and spots an alleyway. Looking back down at the cyclamen, he says, "Let's get out of the rain for a bit. You're soaked." Keeping his eyes on the lone flower in his hand, he slowly starts crossing the street. 

Though, maybe he should've been looking up rather than on the flower, because those screeching tires would be the last thing he would hear. 

_**CRASH!** _

As his body hit the ground and his vision was slowly fading, he shed one last tear... the cyclamen still in his hand.

_"Sayonara... Nii san..."_


	2. A Cat's Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A certain blue-haired vampire re-thinks about his feelings after he received some heartbreaking news.

****TRIGGER WARNING****

It has been a day since Tsubaki's death, a day in which Kuro sits on his bed day and night thinking about. Kuro couldn't understand it, Tsubaki was a vampire, _immortal_ , right? How could he die by a car crash? It didn't make sense, nothing did. He and Tsubaki were getting along, weren't they? Isn't that why he feels as if his soul was ripped in two? Is that why he once again feels that heavy cloud of regret?

No, it was different. Kuro knew this, what he was feeling isn't regret of killing someone dear to him, no, it was the regret of losing someone dear to him. But wait, isn't that the same thing? Did _he_ kill Tsubaki? Maybe not since he wasn't physically there, but did he drive the Eighth to die? 

Kuro couldn't feel anything anymore, his body felt numb, his mind filled with "what ifs" and "why?" What did he do wrong? Wasn't he suppose to protect all of his siblings? How could he fail? Why didn't anyone tell him about Tsubaki's change of mood? Why didn't Tsubaki tell him himself? Why didn't he get any help?

_**Why won't he get any help?**_

Kuro really doesn't remember how long he has been staring at his bleeding wrist, he stared and stared at his deep four gashes. Wounds ghastly and rough around the edges that if he looked hard enough, _maybe_ just _maybe_ he will see bone under all that broken flesh and blood. And what's sick about it? Kuro rather preferred it, he can't feel it anyways, he hasn't been able to feel anything for what feels like hours. But now since he came back to reality, one thought couldn't help but be voiced out. 

_**Where's Mahiru?**_

Is he giving him time to calm down? Is he gone? Where did he go? Kuro hasn't been paying attention but did Mahiru leave him? 

Honestly, Kuro wouldn't be surprised, he would leave him too at this point of his life. Perhaps he's with that Green bean of a subclass that Tsubaki allowed free....Good, Mahiru would need him more. 

So getting up numbly, Kuro trudged over to the bathroom to clean up the blood from his dripping wrist, not bothering to clean up the sink with the remaining drops of red, after all, he didn't want to waste more time than he already is. He needed to see Tsubaki and apologize for whatever he had done to him, surely it's his fault, right? Most of the siblings would usually turn to their Eves or him with problems, and he let Tsubaki know that he could do the same since he's family. But why didn't Tsubaki come to him? _Was it because of him?_

Frowning deeper, Kuro knew. It was on him to make things right. He had to face it, this was his fault, he wasn't going to ask anyone to help him deal with it with him, it was purely on him to do alone. 

So he left without bothering to leave a note, Mahiru would probably be out with his friends a little bit longer anyways, so he might get back before Mahiru does. _Maybe_. 

And luckily, it was dark enough for him to walk into the open. It was cold, however but he didn't bother to go back for his jacket, it's not like he's gonna need it by the time he gets to the graveyard. So with that said, he walks, head held low as he thinks things through. What did he really feel about Tsubaki? Why does it feel like he can't get the fox out of his head? Even when alive, he felt something stronger towards the Eighth, like a magnet that was trying to pull them together. But then when Mahiru confessed his love for him and him to Mahiru, Kuro was happy, finally being able to find love after so many years of being alone. But, his eyes always ended up glancing to Tsubaki when he enters a room. Wasn't that normal? Perhaps, perhaps not, Kuro doesn't know, but with Mahiru wanting to always be with Sakuya to help with his pain due to his Master's death, it only drove the pair apart. Why wouldn't Mahiru help him? Kuro is in pain too, but why does he insist on cheering up that subclass? 

Just how long has it been since he left?

How long was he alone for?

How long did Tsubaki feel this broken? 

How long will it take for them to be together?

How long will he feel this pain till it's all over?

Kuro stopped as the rain started pouring, he couldn't help but feel familiarity of it all. First, the day he killed his creator, the second, when Mahiru's Mother died, third, when Tsubaki was killed...Isn't the rain a sign of another death that's awaiting? 

_**Will it be his turn to go?**_

Lifting his head up, he could see that he was at the gate of the graveyard, he didn't know how long he was in thought for, but if he's here now in what felt like seconds, then it must've been awhile. So letting out a breath, Kuro walked past those old gates, as if it seems like he will never return. And it was easy, wishing death. After centuries of living and the rejection from Gear to kill him, all he really wanted was to die. He had made so many mistakes in his past and the present day that he just wanted to end it, it was easy but so very hard to achieve. 

Why did it have to be hard to die? He's ready to go now, so why can't he? Why did he have to be a _**monster**_ ? A vampire that takes but never gives? 

Why is he being punished to live forever? 

Why can't he join him? 

Why can't he join Tsubaki in death? 

Tsubaki has been alone for way too long before he took in subclasses, hasn't he? 

Kuro didn't want him to feel loneliness again, not this time, he won't let it happen.

So reaching the grave with a bouquet of Hyacinths he probably picked up along the way, he gently sets them neatly on the soil. He _hated_ it, really, he hated that people close to him always end up dying. He's naturally immortal, so he can outlive any human he comes across, but right now, he's envious on how Tsubaki could die, Kuro wished he could have the same. 

But as he stares at the grave, he didn't notice the noose hanging from the tree limb over the Eighth's grave, as if it knew the intentions of any broken soul ready to let go. Kuro knew that suicide is the cowards way out, but it's also a way out from an irreversible problem that will never go away. After all, death cannot be avoided, unless you're immortal. So reaching up to that noose and stepping on a small tree trunk below, he tightened it around his throat. It probably wasn't going to work and all he was doing was wasting his time, but on the other half, Kuro thought that maybe if he was broken hearted enough with a rusty bell, maybe this could _finally_ kill him? 

Maybe the pain will finally end.

Maybe he could join Tsubaki.

Maybe he will see his family again.

Maybe Mahiru will be happy that he's free again.

_**Isn't that what he wanted in the first place?**_

Taking one last breath, Kuro made up his mind. 

So he stepped off that stump and let himself go, not fighting the way the rope cut off his airways and leaving him gasping and choking on his own. So he closed his eyes, feeling his consciousness fade as his body goes numb from the cold. He couldn't wait, he was dying, soon enough, the pain will finally end.

"I'm coming....Tsubaki."

During his last moments, he could've sworn that he saw the silhouette of a familiar kimono wearing vampire, holding a withered bouquet with a sad smile on his face. 

_"I'll be waiting... Nii-san..."_


End file.
